Once again i'm blogging on the road, you all know that means... TANTRUM!!
So this morning my darling (use this term loosely) mini-me spat at me!! In the midst of an already scale 7/8 tantrum, she rounded up all her mini-flem soldiers and deposited them very ungracefully on my arm!! WTH!! The rest of the tantrum pales in significance to this utterly disrespectful act of defiance. Had she been an adult it would've been handbags at dawn!
Now i'm totally on the against child abuse team, I even give a monthly donation to the NSPCC. I'm all for bending down to their level and speaking to them, letting them know what they've done wrong etc, etc... If, however I had spat at my Mum I would've graciously held my hands out and accepted, expected even to get a smack. I probably would've thought less of her had she not smacked me and would've proceeded to spit at every possible opportunity. She obviously would not have beat me about the head with a stick, but held my hand and smacked me.
I, however was in such an utter state of shock at the flem monster within my already quite adept monster that I bundled her onto the naughty box (eventually, she could not smell the danger and kept following me) and walked away. I left her there while I bathed, dressed and done my hair.
On the way to nursery she kept trying to engage me in conversation of which I ignored, because as is always the case, she had forgotten the incident whilst I was still incandescent with rage and visibly seething!!
So over to you... Controversy here we go!!
Would a smack, as i'm sure most of us received at some point growing up, have been so wrong? Would it have made any difference to her spitting or not spitting on future occasions? How do I ensure she knows how utterly unacceptable spitting is?
Over to you....
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
I dont remember ever being smacked by my parents, my mum is hugely anti smacking. For me though if I ever did anything like that I would have expected the full fury of my mothers tounge. She had a loud voice that when required was used. I cant put my finger on it but there was something about it that meant we never did the same thing twice, we learnt immediately not to do whatever it was that had brought us a tounge lashing!
ReplyDeleteOooh, spitting - one of my pet hates! Amy has been through a few phases of spitting and we resort to a social story (she's autistic). I think a smacked bottom does no harm, Amy's had a few in her time though I wouldn't do it now, she's almost as big as me!
ReplyDeleteCJ xx
I have a nearly four year old boy whose tantrums drive me to the very edge at times, and I am not proud to admit that he has had the occasional smack, dispensed to shock rather than to hurt him. I don't particularly think it got better results than other non-smacking methods though and in an ideal world I definately wouldn't resort to it. God, parenting sucks sometimes doesn't it....!
ReplyDeleteI have been smacked by my parents. Never did me much harm. I have a 4 year old and shes only had a slight tap on the bottom once... I tend to raise my voice and thats enough to scare her.
ReplyDeleteNot sure what I would do though if she actually spat at me...hmmm
Like Crystal Jigsaw said I was smacked as a child and it did me no harm, in fact by about aged 4.I knew if my mum said either stop or a smacked bum, she meant it and it was enough to make me stop. However, with my 2, I tried a few smacks with our eldest (who has mild aspergers and ADHD) when his behaviour was so bad we were at our wits end as nothing seemed to make an impact, like Kerryonliving, it was more for a shock tactic and not even that hard, however, his ikmmediate response was to hit us back, and then when he got angry, he started hitting people - we now know that this is the aspergers as he takes things literally - i.e. you are angry, you hit me, I am angry so I hit, and he doesnt understand. With our youngest, we tried to avoid smacking but he did get one for being very naughty one day, and the difference in response was amazing. It had the desired effect and over a year on, he has remembered it, and the simple threat of a smack on the back of the hand (and I hasten to add I am talking about a tap here, not full on rapping of knuckles with a cane!), and he knows to stop.
ReplyDeleteIts a hard one, but I do think children need to know boundaries, and know there are consequences, and sometimes talking just has no impact. With our eldest, the most effective thing is removing his favourite thing and he then earns it back, every child is different. I am not proud we have tried smacking but sometimes a quick short tap can be effective, or just the threat.
ps, I found you from BMB x
ReplyDeleteAh, this is such a hard one. My girl has recently picked up this habit from some little brats at playgroup that her childminder takes her to, and has started to do it at home. I think that she knows perfectly well that hitting and spitting are extremely naughty, and knowing how to react without traumatising her is so hard. I was never smacked by my parents - ok, maybe once - but I was at school (in the Caribbean). At home, it was just the threat of my dad who had an anormous scary angry voice, and at school.... well, let's just say I sure know my times tables and spelling! If my girl spits, I take whatever she has in front of her away - food, toys, whatever. If with her dad, he puts her in the high chair and sits her in the hallway with the lights off. It feels horribly harsh, but then a quick sharp shock lesson can be needed to bring home a message. Right now she thinks the naughty step is a game, so that's of no help either.
ReplyDelete