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Thursday, 30 December 2010

Crisis at Christmas...


After seeing conversations about it on Twitter I decided to look into volunteering at a Crisis homeless shelter over the Christmas period. I will admit to being a bit of a wuss, so much so that I don’t read newspapers or watch the news, as the constant barrage of bad news is too much for me to deal with. Hollyoaks, X-Factor, films any minor sign of affection, sympathy, happiness has me choked up. Over emotional? Possibly, but that’s the way I am, so I tend to live in my own little bubble, unaffected by the devastation of the outside world.

To say I was apprehensive is an understatement. I was really nervous and wished I’d signed up with a friend so I’d have someone to hold my hand. Having only American TV depictions of homeless shelters and ‘soup kitchens’ as my point of reference I was expecting it to be pretty dire. But it wasn’t. It was amazing. It was in a girls school, where the guests were provided with bedrooms, storage for their belongings, hairdressers, manicurists, a masseuse, entertainment, 3 meals a day with endless amounts of snacks, a television room, a clothing service where they had their pick of donated garments and the help and assistance of willing volunteers.

It was actually difficult at times to differentiate between the volunteers and the guests. I met some really amazing people that I will never forget. One of my favourites was the elderly lady with the wild white hair, who told me the top I was wearing reminded her of rags and I should dress more elegant. She was such a fun, vibrant character who so fully embraced the Bollywood dance class, even though she came half way through, that she was awarded a standing ovation. There were those I couldn’t believe were homeless and had I seen them on the street I would’ve assumed they were going to work or the shops or something. Another favourite was the lady who asked me to accompany her to the shop, we spent ages walking while she fantasised about living in one of the houses, she touched me greatly, even more so when she wanted to go to church and the only church we came across was closed. There was also the guest who went for a walk and came back with an elderly lady she’d seen who looked lost and disoriented. Would I have done the same thing? Doubtful. These women had huge amounts of pride and spirit and I hope from the bottom of my heart they get the help they need to change their circumstances.

Volunteering at Crisis is one of the best things I feel i’ve done. Giving money to charity is always worthwhile but I do often wonder how much of the money goes to those who need it. Giving my time felt like I was actively helping, even when I was just talking to, eating lunch with or going to the shop with the guests. I will definitely be doing it again next year, although it feels like a long way away and I will look into ways I can help between now and then. A great way to spend a period that was once about family and is now about gifts, it made me remember how much I have to be grateful for.

Did you know: That sellers of The Big Issue have to buy it themselves? They buy it for £1 and sell it for £2. I shall be laden with Big Issues from now on, as I will not have the willpower to stop myself from buying from every vendor I see.

Told you I was a wuss.

PR xx

Wednesday, 15 December 2010

The return of the Mummy Grudge

Once again i'm blogging on the road, you all know that means... TANTRUM!!

So this morning my darling (use this term loosely) mini-me spat at me!! In the midst of an already scale 7/8 tantrum, she rounded up all her mini-flem soldiers and deposited them very ungracefully on my arm!! WTH!! The rest of the tantrum pales in significance to this utterly disrespectful act of defiance. Had she been an adult it would've been handbags at dawn!

Now i'm totally on the against child abuse team, I even give a monthly donation to the NSPCC. I'm all for bending down to their level and speaking to them, letting them know what they've done wrong etc, etc... If, however I had spat at my Mum I would've graciously held my hands out and accepted, expected even to get a smack. I probably would've thought less of her had she not smacked me and would've proceeded to spit at every possible opportunity. She obviously would not have beat me about the head with a stick, but held my hand and smacked me.

I, however was in such an utter state of shock at the flem monster within my already quite adept monster that I bundled her onto the naughty box (eventually, she could not smell the danger and kept following me) and walked away. I left her there while I bathed, dressed and done my hair.

On the way to nursery she kept trying to engage me in conversation of which I ignored, because as is always the case, she had forgotten the incident whilst I was still incandescent with rage and visibly seething!!

So over to you... Controversy here we go!!

Would a smack, as i'm sure most of us received at some point growing up, have been so wrong? Would it have made any difference to her spitting or not spitting on future occasions? How do I ensure she knows how utterly unacceptable spitting is?

Over to you....


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Monday, 13 December 2010

TeyaLilly Trading...


So... My week of networking events, markets and fairs has come to an end. And, as is the way with my fabulously random life I ended it in a&e. Oh yes, my tiring, but worthwhile week of hauling my cards to event after event, talking to, selling to and even on occasion buying from people ended with me in accident & emergency doubled over in pain and being likened to the Hunchback of Notre Dame. Are you suprised? No. Me neither.

On Monday on my way to the first and furthest event my cute little wheelie suitcase BROKE! BROKE! Before I even made it to the train station, which resulted in me carrying a suitcase full of cards up and down stairs at train and tube stations and the 15-20 minute walk from station to venue either side. My poor underused biceps have been in a state of shock ever since.

By Friday and the school fair, I was a professional display table setter upper and could carry all my display tools, cards and phone in one hand. The FREE promo bookmarks went down a treat with the kids and it really made me smile when a little boy came and bought a card =)

On Saturday at the gift fair I was set up and reading a book 20 minutes before it even opened. Although not many people came to this event, everyone that did bought a card =)

And on Sunday, even though I was hunchback-like and it was outside in the cold I was still ready before all the other traders. Get me. But after being up half the night and not being able to stand up straight I had to give in to my knackered body, call in help to man the stall and seek help from the emergency services. They scared me with words like 'hernia' and 'appendicitis' but it turned out it was neither and I was sent home after 4 hours with the greatest painkillers ever and some antibiotics. My poor body couldn't cope with the manual labour I put it through and shut down in protest.



The cards have been well received and the feedback has been amazing. I'm really excited for next year as I have new characters coming and so many ideas for other products i'd like to add to the range. And the prospect of seeing my cards in shops. Whoop whoop!!

If you haven't already, have a look at www.teyalilly.com and follow TeyaLilly on twitter for updates.

All comments and suggestions welcome xx

Tuesday, 23 November 2010

The ideal, unattainable man

The ideal man for me... A combination of at least 3

If i'd been raised in a different time, i'd disregard monogamy

Who was the one who said, only one man and woman should wed?

There are so many that get left out, if we shared then their loneliness would be spared


The humour, the laughter and all the fun times

The chest, physique, the eyes and thighs

The dimples, charm, jokes and smiles

Ambition and drive, a future visualized

Individually great, but together unbelievable

The ideal, unattainable man


A shoulder to lean on

An arm you can trust

Friends to be cherished

A line not to cross


No ideal

Just something unreal

The ideal, unattainable man

Friday, 12 November 2010

Teya-Lilly Greeting card sneak peak



Not sure if I mentioned that I was embarking on a new project, that was taking up all my time, money and sleep… Post has gone unopened (to be fair that’s nothing new), emails unanswered, phone calls unreturned and most worryingly Haagen Dazs not being eaten!! Well it is very close to completion and here is a sneak peak…

I actually feel physically sick, light-head, extremely apprehensive and nervous about posting this, but here it is out in the real world and no longer knocking around in my otherwise full head, well a little bit of it anyway…

I present to you… TeyaLilly greeting cards!!

Hope you like it and are now as excited for the final products as I am xx

w: www.teyalilly.com (coming soon...)

e: info@teyalilly.com

Saturday, 6 November 2010

The Great Purple Alpha-Bake | D for Dark Chocolate Fondant


So I was really nervous about this, as a Masterchef fan i’ve seen many a fondant relegated into the realms of over cooked chocolate cake type thing. Being the (scatty-at-best) novice that I am, I figured if they couldn’t do it then what chance did I really have. Nonetheless I rolled my sleeves up, dug out the recipe that made it sound the simplest (courtesy of Donna Hay) and went into battle.

Melt chocolate into butter, okay seriously even amateur fools couldn’t mess this up, but I stood over it like a Hawk watching prey, stirring occasionally waiting for the inevitable, which in my case would’ve been the chocolate ‘seizing’ and creating that stiff grainy paste you get when you over heat it. But the Hawk-like stance i’d adopted in front of the cooker kept the ‘seizing’ at bay.

Whisk eggs, egg yolks and sugar until pale… Electric whisk, bish, bash, bosh… The bosh took a little longer to arrive then I expected and I was pretty certain I missed something out as the paleness was a long time coming, but we got there eventually.

Fold chocolate mixture into egg mixture adding flour… Panic set in as the flour formed small lumps which I convinced myself were the eggs scrambling from the heat of the chocolate, I was pretty close to binning the whole mixture and claiming defeat, when like a fairy liquid bubble one of them burst and the flour poofed out like fairy dust. Whey hey!! Back to folding; over, round, through, over, round, through…. Gently so as not to remove air or some such nonsense, and no stirring – not sure why, but i’m sure i’d heard it somewhere. I spooned the mixture into 4 (out of the hundreds that clutter my cupboard) gü ramekins and packed them up to bake later while at my cousin’s house for dinner.

I also made Chocolate Cheesecake Brownies for the kids (also courtesy of Donna Hay) as I figured they wouldn’t appreciate the fine dining experience that my Dark Chocolate Fondants were sure to be *ahem*. Brownies, with a cream cheese mixture swirled through it, sounded like Hummingbirds Black Bottom cupcakes to me, so I was game. It all went to plan and was pretty straight forward until it came to the ‘swirling’. Brownie mixture was thick and cheesecake mixture was runny, so ended up sitting on top, creating more of a ‘topping’ than a ‘swirl’. Although they didn’t look as pretty as the cookbook picture they tasted pretty darned good!!

When the Fondants, left at the hands of the oven timings, came out we initially thought they were over cooked, but closer inspection (a knife to the heart – lol) produced oozing melted chocolate… Result!!! Masterchef contestants eat your hearts out!!

The Great Purple Alpha-Bake | C for Cherry Apple Pie


So I totally forgot to blog this one and it was so long ago that I can’t remember the process that well. The pastry was easier then I though, but not very successful, which suggests that more then likely I done something wrong. Actually it’s almost certain that I messed up as although the pastry flavour was ok, it was pretty dry, possibly too thick as I didn’t do a fabulous job of the rolling out. The filling was nice, the cherries made everything red and the cinnamon really enhanced the flavour. I had so much filling thatI also made a crumble-type pie thing, which was also dry.... I wasn’t blown away by it, but it was edible. I guess it sits somewhere between the disaster that was A and the amazing success that was B.

Thursday, 4 November 2010

Shoe-shell-shock


It has been 6 days, 12 hours, 27 minutes and 56 seconds since "it" happened and I finally feel ready to talk about it...

*Takes deep breath, composes self*

Sorry I thought I was ready, this is gonna be harder then I thought.

It was a Friday, it was quite mild, I had been out, builders had been round, a discovery had been made. A box had been opened, something had been found, panic had set in, whispers had gone round...

"Who’s gonna tell her?"

"Not me"

"I can't"

"She’ll be distraught"

"Someone has to"

"Ok I will"

A worried, anxious looking face approaches me; a hand is placed on my shoulder, a rub, a pat, a squeeze, a sorry smile...

"Sooo.... there was a pipe leaking outside.... the window ledge you had stacked your erm shoe boxes in has been affected.... it's erm kinda damp, some of the boxes got a little bit ruined, the shoes were.... *ahem* A little bit wet"

Cue heart sinking, floor moving, walls rotating, hot, sweaty, dizzy feeling

No-one is making eye-contact with me, my voice is a high pitched whisper that belongs to someone else "what do you mean... wet?"

"Well, they must've got wet as they appear to be, well, you know, slightly dampish looking, go and have a look, it's not that bad"

Again with the high-pitched whispering voice from unknown “slightly dampish looking” what the hell does that mean?

The walk downstairs is dreamlike, the 14 steps, become a long, windy spiral staircase of epic proportions with the words “wet”, “dampish”, “shoes” floating in and out of my consciousness.

I get to the room, boxes on the floor, one on the top, lid slightly raised... A pair of Office shoes, the ones I bought when I was pregnant, my yummy mummy out on the town, laden with post-bump memories shoes... Are.... GREEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNN!!!!

My heart is beating so fast I feel faint, I back out of the room holding onto the wall as I go so as not to fall over, sit on bottom step head between knees trying not to hyperventilate... Brown paper bag, brown paper bag. Words are dive-bombing me, cartoon-style... Consciousness is trying to elude me…

I am shaky and nauseous, tears prick at my eyes. I can't bring myself to go back into the room, the possible devastation is too great to even contemplate... Hundreds of pounds worth of ruined, irreplaceable, invaluable, sentimental, beautiful, beautiful, shoes. Yearned for, owned, broken in, loved… Leather and suede, patterned and plain, pointed and rounded, knee highs and ankles, straps and courts, wedges and stilettos, lace, buckles, zips and bows… Ruined... I am overcome, inconsolable, unresponsive.

I don’t know how long I sit there in the vacant grey mist of sorrow…

Eventually someone ventures downstairs to take a look…

Only to find that the general disorder and devastation that chooses to follow me around like a travellers rucksack, coupled with my perfectly honed, but unintentionally lackadaisical way of never returning things to their rightful place had resulted in all but 2 of the shoe boxes being empty...

Panic over!!! Chaos reigns supreme!!! Oh yea!!

“No woman needs more than one pair of shoes. But when it comes to shoes and women, the word ‘need’ doesn’t make any sense.” - Alicia Muñiz (shoe collector, designer, and founder of Comme il Faut)

Monday, 11 October 2010

Unequal Opportunities

I tend to be quite a neutral person, in terms of most things, I have my opinion and will put it cross if need be but totally understand that everyone is different and what works for you may not work for me.

I can totally understand the traditional roles of wife cooking, cleaning, looking after children and husband being the provider and generally chilling. If that’s what works for you then I am not judging. In this sort of relationship everyone has their part to play and I guess it maintains a healthy balance.

I also get the not so traditional role reversal of wife being the main breadwinner and husband staying home. Again there is a balance and for some people it works.

My problem is this… I have come across such a situation recently that my “neutral” stance, is totally disbelieving of. It is a situation that is flabbergasting me on a regular basis, but also a situation that is really none of my business and it is definitely not my place to get involved. So I bring my ranting to you…

Let me introduce you to Mr & Mrs Anon...

Mr Anon is out of work and has been for sometime, so stays home. Mrs Anon goes to work and has a 2nd job to earn extra money. Now to me, when you as part of a relationship are not currently bringing in an income and your partner has to work a full day as well as occasional overtime and then come home and cook your dinner and tidy up after you, you are not contributing to the "partnership". Had this been a job, you'd be fired.

I get that maybe you are not feeling as “manly” as you should by not going to work, but do you not feel even less manly watching your other half put the bins out, or staying home while she carries the shopping bags alone, or moving your feet out of the way while she hoovers around you? I am astonished that someone who can pretty much be described as a “kept man” wouldn’t feel the need to lift a finger to help and even has the audacity more often then not to complain.

I don’t know, maybe I live in a fantasy world and this is totally acceptable, although I find it really hard to believe. There is one party in this supposed “relationship” that is holding everything together. If you are neither the working party, nor the housekeeping party then what is your contribution to the ”lifestyle balance” that most couples strive for?

If the roles were reversed I’m sure there’d be arguments and I’m tempted to start one myself, but as I said it isn’t my place and if she isn’t complaining I guess I shouldn’t be, but I just had to get that out of my system.

Rant over...

Saturday, 2 October 2010

The Great Purple Alpha-Bake | B for Banoffee pie


So i’ve been excited about making Banoffee pie since I decided to do this whole Alpha-Bake. I am a Banoffee lover but, as is the randomness of my nature I don’t actually like bananas, especially not between caramel and cream as they tend to be quite brown and soggy and I am often sat in front of a plate of brown soggy bananas at the end of a dinner date. I was once pleasantly surprised, when I ordered banoffee at a restaurant called TheShip, where there were no bananas in sight, just banana flavoured cream… Yum!! Result!!

So when the day came I decided I would make Banoffee sans actual bananas, banana flavouring in the cream was my initial idea, but then I decided to blitz a couple of bananas into the caramel, oooh yeah, experimenting with recipes after only 2 weeks, get me.

I spent 2 hours loitering in the kitchen, over come with nervousness, waiting for my inevitable bad luck to cause the condensed milk cans, I had to boil for caramel, to explode!! I topped up the pot so many times to prevent said explosion I was pretty sure that when I opened the cans the condensed milk would still be in the exact same state it was in when I’d started. I had been told to buy the caramel condensed milk that I wouldn’t have to boil, and would’ve saved me 2 hours, but how often do you get to boil cans of milk? So I thought I’d go the traditional route.

Nothing about the pint of double cream or 2 tins of condensed milk I needed aroused my suspicions as to the huge restaurant style serving I would end up with. It ended up being 2 huge Banoffee pies which I had to phone family and friends to come and eat. Luckily, it was delicious (if I do say so myself), no brown, soggy banana to ruin the experience. Just yummy smooth banana flavoured caramel, crunchy biscuit and cream. A success!! Think this may be my new dinner party dish, not that I ever have dinner parties – lol.

My first Alpha-Bake success and only the 2nd letter. 24 to go, fingers crossed ;-)

Thursday, 30 September 2010

The Great Purple Alpha-Bake | Almond & Orange cake


So the Alpha-Bake started, but i've been so busy the past 2 weeks I just haven't had a chance to upload photos and post... So better late then never, here it is ;-)

Almond & Orange cake

Prep: 2hrs 15mins / Cooking: 45mins

For some reason I came in off the street took my coat off, washed my hands and started baking. Sounds perfectly feasible until I tell you I still hand on my brand new boots, scarf and sunglasses… Excited?? Possibly. Honing my stylish chef personality?? Obviously, but also constantly losing focus and just forgot to remove them.

After spending the past few weeks buying all the baking utensils I thought I’d need (including mini silicone cupcake cases, which are infact the work of evil fairy bakers) I found myself caught short with no greaseproof paper or apron!! Oh well, new boots and sunglasses totally made up for it.

I put my oranges (which needed to be simmered for 2 hours) on the stove (is it still called a stove?) and took mini-me to ballet. That was the hardest part. When I came back I put all the ingredients in the food processor, blitzed it and put it in an oven proof bowl in the oven. Oven proof bowl and not cake tin as of course I had no greaseproof paper!

The cake took 45 minutes to cook, but unlike normal cakes the clean knife test was no good as this cake contained 6 eggs and no flour so the consistency would be slightly different. It smelt delicious coming out of the oven and looked quite nice too, I had my fingers crossed that it would come out of the bowl as I’d buttered and floured it within an inch of it’s life as i'd overlooked the fact that greaseproof paper was quite important to the whole baking process. It slipped out like a breeze and stayed in one piece. Looks good, smells good, feels kinda sticky-ish, more pudding like then cake-like, but I figure that by the time it cools it'll be more cake-y (are these actual words?)

So it cools and before I gather everyone for the tasting I cut myself a piece, and am immediately disappointed. The texture is weird, kinda grainy, but also still kinda wet. Initially i'm not sure that I don't totally like it. It isn't very orangey or sweet or anything really, it's kinda 'blah'. Neither here nor there. I could take it, but much more easily I could leave it (I don't say this about cake often). It's weirdly damp, which is probably the main reason I don't like it. I check the recipe to make sure I baked it for the right time, yep 45 minutes. Nowhere in the recipe description does it mention it being wet and pudding-like. The word cake is in the title, this is not cake!!

So I decide (in all of my day old baking wisdom) that the only sensible thing to do is put it back in the oven "for a bit" like a twice baked souffle type thing. Maybe that will make it better... It didn't... It was awful... It was binned.

So "A" in The Great Purple Alpha-Bake is a huge fail!! There is room to grow, i'm only just beginning.

This week it's Banoffee pie, one of my favourites. If I mess it up i'm quitting - lol

Monday, 27 September 2010

What is the reason!?

I write this post with tears in my eyes, as for the second time in as many months I am consoling someone close to me who has lost a baby.

It is said that "everything happens for a reason" and to some extent I am sure this is true. Then there are things that have no rhyme or reason and to me this is one of them.

The universe has got it wrong yet again, I am heartbroken, lost for words and more then anything else I am confused and angry. I cannot even begin to imagine how they must be feeling.

I know there are no words that will take the pain away and they say "time is a great healer" but I just want you to know i am here should you need me morning, noon or night with a listening air, hugs, silence or laughter and cupcakes & wine of course.

To anyone out there who has ever lost a baby my thoughts are with you

Xxxxx



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friday, 17 September 2010

Barnet Schmarnet!!

I am on the train to High Barnet!! Finally!! After waiting 20 minutes at Waterloo where everyone seeemed to be in the know and knew that none of the trains on my platform (even though it was the correct platform) would be going to High Barnet. Like sheep they all got on the Edgeware train as if this High Barnet branch of the northern line I spoke of didn't exist. They were in the know and I was a tourist in my own city, with no clue as to how I would get to my destination. And of course actual staff members that I could ask for help were as elusive as the frickin doodoo bird!!

In the end, after attempting to check the tfl website (errr you're underground, yeah the iPhone is amazing but it can't work miracles) to no avail, I checked tube map and decided that maybe I could get there from Euston as it had 2 branches of the northern line going through it. So I follow the sheep on to the next train going to Edgeware and get off at Euston, where of course there is nobody to ask anything, the display only has trains going to Edgeware and every time a train comes through everyone on the platform but me gets on it!! Why does no-one else want to go to any of the stations to High Barnet?? There are 10 stations between Camden (the last station you can get to on the Edgeware branch before it splits) and High Barnet... Why isn't anyone going to these places?? What happens in them?? Why everytime an Edgeware train comes does the platform clear?? What is going in?? What don't i know?? Has something happened at all stations to High Barnet?? Why has there been no announcement??

As I'm spinning around looking like a lost foreign tourist, I hear an annoucement, a dreamlike whisper that seems to be speaking only to me "all northerline trains to High Barnet leave from platform 3" I spin around "who said that?" Platform 3?? Where is that?? I see no signs... On the concourse I see signs for platform 2, Victoria line and overground. No mention of a platform 3 and no-one to ask. What is going on!! I decide to exit the platform in search of help, if I'm underground for much longer I will not be held responsible for my actions. On the way up the escalator I see the light "northernline platform 3 - all stations to High Barnet"

Why in heaven's name is it such a frickin secret?? From Waterloo station there should be signs and announcements letting people know that they should get the Edgeware train to Euston and go to platform 3. When you get to Euston there should be signs to platform 3. I spent 45 minutes lost underground in a city I have spent my whole life in, on an underground network I use daily and was late for my appointment due to tfl's incompetence and lack of staff presence!!

Once my eyes have adjusted to the bright lights I shall make a complaint!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhones

Wednesday, 8 September 2010

The Great Purple Alpha-Bake...

So I mentioned previously that I had been inspired by Julie and Julia (recently read the book and watched the film) and had set myself a baking challenge...

To bake through the letters of the alphabet, a recipe a week for each letter.

I have trawled through recipe books and websites galore and one of the things I realised is that every recipe needs to have a photo. It is very hard to imagine something based on a list of ingredients and a name. I’ve also had to be creative with some of the names as finding desserts beginning with X etc… was pretty darn difficult.

So, here is my Alpha-Bake list:

  • Almond and Orange Cake
  • Banoffee Pie
  • Cherry & Apple Pies
  • Dark & White Chocolate Fondants
  • English Apple & Cinnamon Crumble Tart
  • Fresh Cream & Strawberry Victoria Sponge
  • Ginger Sticky Toffee Pudding
  • Homemade Toffee Apple Tart
  • Iced Cinnamon Buns
  • Jam Bakewell
  • Key Lime Pie
  • Lemon Meringue Cake
  • Macaroons
  • Nutty Hazlenut Frangipane
  • Oatmeal Raisin Cookies
  • Passionfruit Roulade
  • Quince & Pear Puffed Pancake
  • Rose Cupcakes of course
  • Salted Caramel Tart
  • Tiramisu Layer Cake
  • Upside Down Pineapple Cake
  • Vanilla Ice-Cream cake
  • White Chocolate and Raspberry Brownies
  • Xaggerated Baked Cheesecake
  • Yule Log (Choc swiss roll)
  • Zalabia
So the challenge begins next friday (17th Sept). I shall post recipe details and photos (whether they are good or bad). All my friends who say they want to taste test can do so under the proviso that they leave a fabulous review :-)

Let the baking begin!!

Ohhh and while I was making my list I whipped up these beauties...

Lemon Meringue & Chocolate cupakes










Banana Cinnamon Pancakes










Sultana Scones




Thursday, 26 August 2010

Obsessive Child Disorder...

My child has OCD, I know you aren't supposed to say things like that but I don't know what else to call it and I need help...

It manifests itself in her incessant need for perfection. Mainly to do with clothing. Laces must be a certain length. Dresses must sit a certain way when she sits down. She won't wear trousers as the crutch makes a bubbly thing. Coats and cardigans are rarely zipped or buttoned, unless it is freezing or raining and I insist, as these too make a bubble. Collars must not touch her neck or face. The Tongue of her shoes must not be seen to be sliding sideways as said shoes will be removed, regardless of circumstance.

I wouldn't mind if she fussed a bit and moved on, but her whole mood changes. Offending items will be removed, thrown, even on occasion bitten. And she gets so very uncontrollably crazed and frustrated. Pulling, pushing, dragging, crying...

I don't know where she gets this need for perfection. I am one of the most haphazard, thrown together, unironed people you will meet and my child is the anti-me. I do not get it and therefore have no idea what to do.

I have tried ignoring her and leaving her to her frustrated pullings, tuggings and bitings in the hope that she'll realise there's nothing that can be done. She tends to go on and on until the point of crying uncontrollably if the offending item won't "behave".

I have tried helping, but feel like by aiding her I could be making the situation worse. And my help is usually not very well received anyway, as i tend to get it wrong and do not help the offending item to "behave".

It is getting worse as she gets older, so much so her father has noticed and we know how unobservant men can be (no offence).

What do I do? How do I deal with the situation? Can it be dealt with? Will she outgrow it? Will it develop further? I am at a loss and very frustrated...

Saturday, 21 August 2010

Let them eat CAKE!!!




I haven't blogged for a while as I was ill and then really busy playing catch up at work, but i'm back and i'm inspired...

While I was "under the weather" I spent the whole time on the sofa watching nowt but food programmes. From Barefoot Contessa to The Great British Dish. Come Dine with Me to Masterchef. Nigella Bites to The Great British Bakeoff. Ace of Cakes to James Martin. Iron Chef to Heston Blumenthal. If it was on I watched it. And thought about all the food that I couldn't eat because I was ill!

I was told about a book which was recently made into a film called "Julie and Julia", I have the book and the film but have neither read nor watched either as I haven't had time. I know the story and it has inspired my latest "hobby" I guess we could call it (like I don't have enough to do). The basis of the story is that Julie makes every recipe from Julia Childs cookbook i think it takes about a year.

So i've come up with my own "Purple Version". Once a week I will be baking a recipe for every letter of the alphabet using a variety of different chef's. It should take 26 weeks, but we'll have to take 'life' into account so some weeks it may not be possible. I shall photograph and blog every attempt, regardless of how fabulous it may or may not be.

Sound interesting?? Maybe i'm just using it as a way to feed my incessant need to eat cake and also possibly put on the weight everyone says i'm lacking. Either way i'm hoping i'll enjoy it and hone a new talent, whilst of course indulging in some cake eating which is of course my ultimate life goal :-)

In my next post i'll publish an alphabetical list of the desserts i'll be making over the next 26 or so weeks...

Tuesday, 27 July 2010

Running

Today I have mainly felt like running indefinitely to places unknown... If I believed the world was flat I'd try to make it to the end...


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Wednesday, 14 July 2010

Sibling Rivalry...


This post was inspired by a post by mediocre mum on a similar-ish topic, as well as conversations i've had with other mother's at mini-me's nursery and just conversations in general that tend to go like this...

Her: How old is mini-me?

Me: She'll be 4 in September

Her: Gosh, when are you having another one?

Me: I'm not

Her: So she'll be an only child? Cue worried, frowny look, followed by pitying look in mini-me's direction

Me - racking brain for reason: Well she has loads of cousins and my family are really close

Her: Hmmmmm, but that's not the same as a sibling, are you sure you wouldn't change your mind when you get older. Cue patronising head leant to the side, eyebrow raised semi smile.

Errrrrrrr!! No!!!

Why am I made to feel I have to defend my decision to only have 1 child? There's barely enough space in the world as it is. Am I not helping out the general population as well as the over-crowded school situation by only having 1 child?! (The Chinese would reward me, for making this decision on my own merit!)

And. Most importantly. I. Only. Want. One. Child.

When did it become obligatory to heave a foetus about for 9 months on more then 1 occasion??

Don't get me wrong, some people thrive on having and looking after children. Some people love being mothers and having little people to run after. Some people have child, after child, after child and are devoted in their after school activity run, the tumble tots, the expressing of breast milk, the NCT meetings, the school fairs and general motherly duty things. I. Am. Not. That. Person. And I shouldn't be made to feel guilty about it.

I know my limitations. I know that I will still enjoy my life and be balanced enough to enjoy my child. I know that I will not be that mother pulling her hair out because the children are competing for attention. I know that I will not be that mother secretly stashing wine in the desk at work. I know that I will not be that mother crying in a cupboard because the children are driving me crazy. I know that with one child, my crazy will stay safely locked away and the people in my head will remain, in my head.

I love mini-me. I would do anything for her. I do, do anything for her. I give her the best that I can give and love her unconditionally. I love time spent with her. And I love time spent without her. I love that I can go away without her and leave her with grandparents, godparents, uncles and aunts. I love that I can take her away for 2 week holidays and not be stressed to the very core of my being. I love that I can still fill my wardrobe with shoes and clothes and have extravagant nights out. I love my life with my 1 child. Call me selfish if you like, but I'm happy and she's happy and I am not apologising anymore.