Obsessive Child Disorder...

My child has OCD, I know you aren't supposed to say things like that but I don't know what else to call it and I need help...

It manifests itself in her incessant need for perfection. Mainly to do with clothing. Laces must be a certain length. Dresses must sit a certain way when she sits down. She won't wear trousers as the crutch makes a bubbly thing. Coats and cardigans are rarely zipped or buttoned, unless it is freezing or raining and I insist, as these too make a bubble. Collars must not touch her neck or face. The Tongue of her shoes must not be seen to be sliding sideways as said shoes will be removed, regardless of circumstance.

I wouldn't mind if she fussed a bit and moved on, but her whole mood changes. Offending items will be removed, thrown, even on occasion bitten. And she gets so very uncontrollably crazed and frustrated. Pulling, pushing, dragging, crying...

I don't know where she gets this need for perfection. I am one of the most haphazard, thrown together, unironed people you will meet and my child is the anti-me. I do not get it and therefore have no idea what to do.

I have tried ignoring her and leaving her to her frustrated pullings, tuggings and bitings in the hope that she'll realise there's nothing that can be done. She tends to go on and on until the point of crying uncontrollably if the offending item won't "behave".

I have tried helping, but feel like by aiding her I could be making the situation worse. And my help is usually not very well received anyway, as i tend to get it wrong and do not help the offending item to "behave".

It is getting worse as she gets older, so much so her father has noticed and we know how unobservant men can be (no offence).

What do I do? How do I deal with the situation? Can it be dealt with? Will she outgrow it? Will it develop further? I am at a loss and very frustrated...

Sibling Rivalry...

This post was inspired by a post by mediocre mum on a similar-ish topic, as well as conversations i've had with other mother's at mini-me's nursery and just conversations in general that tend to go like this...

Her: How old is mini-me?

Me: She'll be 4 in September

Her: Gosh, when are you having another one?

Me: I'm not

Her: So she'll be an only child? Cue worried, frowny look, followed by pitying look in mini-me's direction

Me - racking brain for reason: Well she has loads of cousins and my family are really close

Her: Hmmmmm, but that's not the same as a sibling, are you sure you wouldn't change your mind when you get older. Cue patronising head leant to the side, eyebrow raised semi smile.

Errrrrrrr!! No!!!

Why am I made to feel I have to defend my decision to only have 1 child? There's barely enough space in the world as it is. Am I not helping out the general population as well as the over-crowded school situation by only having 1 child?! (The Chinese would reward me, for making this decision on my own merit!)

And. Most importantly. I. Only. Want. One. Child.

When did it become obligatory to heave a foetus about for 9 months on more then 1 occasion??

Don't get me wrong, some people thrive on having and looking after children. Some people love being mothers and having little people to run after. Some people have child, after child, after child and are devoted in their after school activity run, the tumble tots, the expressing of breast milk, the NCT meetings, the school fairs and general motherly duty things. I. Am. Not. That. Person. And I shouldn't be made to feel guilty about it.

I know my limitations. I know that I will still enjoy my life and be balanced enough to enjoy my child. I know that I will not be that mother pulling her hair out because the children are competing for attention. I know that I will not be that mother secretly stashing wine in the desk at work. I know that I will not be that mother crying in a cupboard because the children are driving me crazy. I know that with one child, my crazy will stay safely locked away and the people in my head will remain, in my head.

I love mini-me. I would do anything for her. I do, do anything for her. I give her the best that I can give and love her unconditionally. I love time spent with her. And I love time spent without her. I love that I can go away without her and leave her with grandparents, godparents, uncles and aunts. I love that I can take her away for 2 week holidays and not be stressed to the very core of my being. I love that I can still fill my wardrobe with shoes and clothes and have extravagant nights out. I love my life with my 1 child. Call me selfish if you like, but I'm happy and she's happy and I am not apologising anymore.