It's a shame there is a part 2 to this post... Did I really expect change while I was at work?? Errr... Not really, but I also didn't expect to be writing a second behaviour related post so soon…
I have just had the worst car ride ever… The will power I have exerted is certainly worthy of some kind of humanitarian award, but that is not the issue here. So, everything was ok, until we left the nursery. Usually, we would go the shop opposite the nursery and get a magazine, milky bar buttons, fruit flakes or the like, which would be eaten in the car.
Today I explained in my best ‘bending down to her level, using super nanny style voice’ that we wouldn’t be going to the shop today as she had been exceptionally naughty this morning and that if she is as exceptionally good as she was naughty then there was the possibility that we could go to the shop tomorrow after nursery… Cue Dr Hyde, bursting forth from his clothes and jumping around Incredible Hulk style… I resisted the urge to throw her over my shoulder fireman style and leg it to the car, to save face in front of all the strangers, obliviously walking past. I once again donned the ‘bending down to her level, using super nanny style voice’ and explained that this behaviour would get her nowhere and is in fact lessening her chances of going to the shop tomorrow... To absolutely no avail… I ignored… She shouted… I ignored… She screamed… I ignored… She wailed… I walked away… She shouted “I want to hold your hand” while screaming, wailing and dragging her scooter behind her… EPIC!
I ignored (will power at seriously low levels), stayed 2 steps ahead of the wailing, screaming, scooter dragging Hyde style Hulk character pursuing me and pretended I didn’t notice the pitying looks of the Estate Agents and Bankers stepping out of my way. She was still shouting “I want to hold your hand” while holding my hand to cross the road, she continued to shout it, while holding my hand all the way through the car park to the car...
Cue continuation of tantrum, also known as Phase 2.
Me: “Please get in the car” Mini-me: “No”
So I walk to a point at the other side of the car where she can’t see me, but I can see her. I’m pretty sure at this point that she was still shouting “I want to hold your hand.” I ignore her, not sure how long passes, but it seemed like days. Eventually she said that she couldn’t get in the car, she seemed to be calming down so I lift her in and put her seat belt on.
Cue phase 3:
Mini-me “I want my chair up”
Me: “I can’t do it right now as we’re driving, you’ll have to wait until we stop” cue tears…
Gut wrenching ‘I just fell over and broke my leg style tears’ the kind of tears that make you stop what you’re doing and run to see what has happened… The kind of tears that are very distracting while trying to navigate a 4 lane roundabout in rush hour.
Me: (still donning my super nanny style 'all is calm' exterior while internally thinking WHY ME!!) “If you stop crying for a second and listen to me…”
Mini-me: “I can’t stop crying, you’re making me cry”
WOW! What do you say to this? From a 3 year old? Absolutely no idea. So, I said nothing… For the 10 minute journey that seemed like hours, I said nothing… To the “Mama, mama, mama” spoken in a hoarse voice through the never ending tears, I said nothing… To the screaming “I want my chair up”, I said nothing… Through the kicking of my dashboard, I said nothing…
And while I brushed her teeth, changed her clothes and put her to bed, I said nothing…
Let’s see what tomorrow holds… For now I shall drink wine and eat Haagen Dazs in blissful silence.
You deserve the wine and Haagen Dazs! No wonder you said you had a bad day! Mine was an 8 year olds tantrum at before 7am that set the tone for the rest of the day, luckily after the speed camera incident things haven't got any worse, now if I can only make it through the night without something happening I'll be happy!
ReplyDeleteOh I had one of these epics recently - tomorrow will be another day and she will have forgotten it. You won't have of course but keep with the supper nanny voice - does work eventually. Its always best to send a clear message and stick to it to avoid confusion. The punishment is age appropriate no treats at the shop. Have another glass on me xxx
ReplyDeleteIgnoring has always worked best with my eldest as well - not only does she hate it, but it also means I can maintain some level of dignity and upper hand about it all. That, or copying her tantrum - generally elicits a smile. Cheers! x
ReplyDeleteFirstly..sorry to say but I love your blog Ms Ramblings! I know it won't help but rest assured these tantrums will pass and the more u ignore them the quicker! I have, and still from time to time do experience them if not worse! yes I said worse! Skye was never a tantrum thrower but Chase had them for her and himself combined!he used to do all of that and The same conversation would take place every time..Que screams: ''I want to be a good boy'' be one then PLEASE-Start by stopping your noise ''I can't stop my noise..it's comming from in here(pointing in mouth)'' What do you do/say to that!
ReplyDeleteI laughing tears, I'm sorry. I know you wont see it's the same way but maybe hindsight will help you notice that that mini you is hilarious. "... I want to hold your hand..." "...your making me cry..."
ReplyDeletesame goes for you ZeeZee :..it's coming from here..."
children, wow!!!
I see what you mean from your comment on my blog now. It's so not fun!
ReplyDelete