I bring to you the latest instalment in my wonderfully ridiculous life...
I'm almost 100% sure that this couldn't have happened to anybody else... Ever... At all... But i'm hoping at least one person has experienced it.
So... Recently I had cup holders fitted in my car. After suffering for the 4 years i've had it without them I decided to bite the bullet and pay the £180 it cost to have them fitted on the dashboard above the cd player. You know that little bit you push in and the holders pop out? Well that cost me between 2 and 3 pairs of shoes. But i'd had enough of driving one handed while drinking a coffee or milkshake or anything else really, as once i'd started a drink, unless it was a bottle with a lid I pretty much had to keep drinking until i'd finished as there was nowhere to put it down. Mini-me was also bored of the whole situation and was so sick to the back teeth of "being Mummy's special girl and holding her drink" that she had been spending a lot of time rolling her eyes... So £180 handed over, new cup holders fitted the PurpleRamblings VW was a happier place.
Well approximately an hour ago, i'm sitting in my car waiting for a friend. I just happened to turn and look behind me and I see a black bit sticking out right at the back of the handbrake panel, slightly over hanging the high middle bit of floor when you're sitting at the back of the car. You know the bit I mean? Where if 3 people are in the back the middle one has to straddle it? An ashtray is usually at the top, well under that bit. So i've exhaled, sighed, bent down to further inspect and see what's broken...
I touch it and it pops out... I'm confused... I reach up and turn the lights on... I undo my seatbelt... I kneel in the driver seat and lean over so I can fully see and access, whatever it is.... And do you know what it is?? I bet you've guessed what it is... Mother Bleeping CUP HOLDERS!!! 2 Mother Bleeping CUP HOLDERS to be precise!!! Exactly the same style as the ones I not 3 months ago sacrificed shoes and paid £180 for, but just down by the handbrake... Where they've been... FOR FOUR YEARS!!! FOUR YEARS!!!
Really??!! Really??!! Is this actually my life? This can't be my life... There absolutely must be a very well hidden camera following me around documenting the ridiculousness that is my life. Someone, somewhere is waiting to jump out on me and shout "got ya". Right? Of course that's obviously what's gonna happen, they're just making a really long pilot, or maybe they've already signed contracts and are filming a whole series... Seriously, how do these things keep happening to me? How am I not in an institution?? Too far? I always go one step too far...
I am hysterical (with laughter) and in disbelief, but also secretly quite pleased, as Starbucks are having a buy 1, get 1 free event tomorrow so I can buy 2, get 2 free and have somewhere to put them all!! Whoop whoop, silver cloud and all that, or is it silver lining?
Not sure who'll be drinking all the coffee, but it doesn't even matter because
I HAVE CUP HOLDERS!!!
My brother has suggested I write a book called "My Stupid Life" lol