Hold on... Is that a Cup Holder?!!

I bring to you the latest instalment in my wonderfully ridiculous life...

I'm almost 100% sure that this couldn't have happened to anybody else... Ever... At all... But i'm hoping at least one person has experienced it.

So... Recently I had cup holders fitted in my car. After suffering for the 4 years i've had it without them I decided to bite the bullet and pay the £180 it cost to have them fitted on the dashboard above the cd player. You know that little bit you push in and the holders pop out? Well that cost me between 2 and 3 pairs of shoes. But i'd had enough of driving one handed while drinking a coffee or milkshake or anything else really, as once i'd started a drink, unless it was a bottle with a lid I pretty much had to keep drinking until i'd finished as there was nowhere to put it down. Mini-me was also bored of the whole situation and was so sick to the back teeth of "being Mummy's special girl and holding her drink" that she had been spending a lot of time rolling her eyes... So £180 handed over, new cup holders fitted the PurpleRamblings VW was a happier place.

Well approximately an hour ago, i'm sitting in my car waiting for a friend. I just happened to turn and look behind me and I see a black bit sticking out right at the back of the handbrake panel, slightly over hanging the high middle bit of floor when you're sitting at the back of the car. You know the bit I mean? Where if 3 people are in the back the middle one has to straddle it? An ashtray is usually at the top, well under that bit. So i've exhaled, sighed, bent down to further inspect and see what's broken...

I touch it and it pops out... I'm confused... I reach up and turn the lights on... I undo my seatbelt... I kneel in the driver seat and lean over so I can fully see and access, whatever it is.... And do you know what it is?? I bet you've guessed what it is... Mother Bleeping CUP HOLDERS!!! 2 Mother Bleeping CUP HOLDERS to be precise!!! Exactly the same style as the ones I not 3 months ago sacrificed shoes and paid £180 for, but just down by the handbrake... Where they've been... FOR FOUR YEARS!!! FOUR YEARS!!!

Really??!! Really??!! Is this actually my life? This can't be my life... There absolutely must be a very well hidden camera following me around documenting the ridiculousness that is my life. Someone, somewhere is waiting to jump out on me and shout "got ya". Right? Of course that's obviously what's gonna happen, they're just making a really long pilot, or maybe they've already signed contracts and are filming a whole series... Seriously, how do these things keep happening to me? How am I not in an institution?? Too far? I always go one step too far...

I am hysterical (with laughter) and in disbelief, but also secretly quite pleased, as Starbucks are having a buy 1, get 1 free event tomorrow so I can buy 2, get 2 free and have somewhere to put them all!! Whoop whoop, silver cloud and all that, or is it silver lining?

Not sure who'll be drinking all the coffee, but it doesn't even matter because

I HAVE CUP HOLDERS!!!

My brother has suggested I write a book called "My Stupid Life" lol

PR x

Wrong and strong

So... I'm driving down a one-way road, when another driver approaches (obviously driving the wrong way) and we come to a stand still cos the road is narrow (hence it being a one-way) and neither of us can pass. Now don't get me wrong, i'm all for a shady little right turn at the left turn only junction, or slyly slipping through that red light and I have even been known on occasion to tiptoe (in my car) down a one-way road, in the deepest depths of night, when no-one else is around. The problem I have with this 'wrong way down the one-way' driver is that he wanted me to back up so he could pass!! The sheer cheek of him waving me back and gesturing had me dumbfounded, but I didn't give in. No way was I reversing so 'wrong way down the one-way' man could pass. Was I wrong?? Dude is doing illegal manoeuvres and expects me 'the law abiding citizen' (best film i've watched in ages, btw) to concede. Well I didn't. There's nothing worse then somebody who is wrong and strong. So we come to a stand off 'Wrong way down the one-way' man is getting agitated, possibly due to the fact that the longer he spent facing the wrong way on the one-way road, was the more likely he was to get accosted by the police, or worse still by some neighbourhood watch busy body who had nothing better to do. So I looked behind me and did the 'there's nothing I can do' shrug, after checking all my doors were locked off course, pulled out my blackberry and started to check my twitter updates, to the sound of frantic beeping. By the time the page had refreshed 'wrong way down the one-way' man had finally realised that he was fighting a losing battle, waved a white flag (he actually stuck 2 fingers up at me) and reversed into a space 4 cars back. I was triumphant and he was infuriated, even more so as I drove by at 5mph waving and smiling.

Maybe he'll think twice next time he sees a one-way sign.