Confessions of a shopaholic...

I'm writing this while sitting on the floor in my very cluttered bedroom, while bidding frantically on a Topshop jacket on eBay... I have come to the realisation that I have issues... Or even ‘ish-shoes’... In regard to shopping... They have come to a head this week, well right now to be honest... As I sit looking at the laundry that is waiting to be put away, the shoes wondering why they have been discarded, millimetres away from their boxes - but not quite inside, emails that are waiting to be opened, toiletries looking for lids and projects waiting for completion... I realise that something must be done... By me... The past few evenings have been a whirlwind of neglected duties... Other then putting mini-me to sleep and eating (which has been done in front of the computer) I have done nothing but sit on my beautiful MacBook and trawl through website, after website of clothes shoes and bags.... HELP!!

Twitter has been unable to distract me, phone calls have gone unanswered, TV programmes unwatched, Haagen Dazs uneaten (this is what worries me the most), fingernails unpainted and hair un-brushed, as I sit in front of my laptop in a clothing, bag and shoe induced coma. I fall into bed weary and blurry eyed in the early hours of the morning. With the satisfying glow of accomplishment… A job well done. This is not normal... It can't be normal; do I have no self-control? Errrr...

Asos, Topshop, Warehouse, Office, Mango, Irregular Choice, All Saints, Zara and others that were found along the way, but none so addictive or all consuming as eBay... None so treacherous, perilous or hazardous as eBay... The high I get from bidding and winning on eBay must come a close second to gambling. I'm sure the ridiculously, excessive excitement I endure is similar to that of a hyperactive child. I am currently bidding on a jacket and I am tense, anxious, and slightly panicky as if performing naked on stage in front of thousands, with full knowledge that I can't sing or dance or even speak for that matter... HELP! This week I promised myself I would have early nights Mon-Weds as i'm out the rest of the week. To the best of my knowledge shopping online from the comfort of your bed (or in my case floor in corner beside bed) does not constitute an early night. Nor is it a normal way to spend 3 evenings. So I am making a call of action. An intervention if you like. For myself... They say admitting you have a problem is the first step right? Well i'm admitting it. To you. Hi. Yes, you. "I am PurpleRamblings and I have a problem". There I did it. I'll be back in a sec, just have to check the progress of my jacket... So, back to the intervention. If you've read my blog before you'll be aware of my challenges, if not check them out. I failed the 5 fruit a day one miserably by the way. But I digress. I challenge myself starting the 1st of May 2013 to no shopping… (Until the end of each month and then a budget will be set) Except food and toiletries.

No buying of shoes, bags, clothes, hairbands, earrings, cd's, iphone or blackberry cases, make-up, socks, dvd’s, anything... Nothing. Nada. Naught. Zilch. It shall be hard. I shall be tempted. I shall have withdrawal. I shall cry for ASOS and eBay. I shall talk myself into buying that thing that I must have and for some reason or other doesn't count and then I shall talk myself out of it. I shall give my debit/credit cards to a trusted third party. I shall avoid window-shopping. I shall be depressed. I shall once again find time to eat Haagen Dazs. I shall mourn the weekly parcels I will no longer receive. And I shall wait excitedly for the postman to deliver all the delicious parcels I have ordered the past three days and will be ordering until 30th April ☺

Last night I dreamt of San Pedro....

Actually I didn't dream of San Pedro (unlike Madonna). I dreamt of Dessert... Delectable, Delightful, Desirable Dessert in all it's Damned Deliciousness... Cupcakes, gu puddings, banoffee pie, tiramisu, apple crumble, pecan tart thingy’s from the dessert deli down the road, eton mess, haagen dazs ice cream, fresh cream & strawberry victoria sponge, syrup sponge pudding, apricot swiss roll, caramel waffles, hot fudge sundae, krispy kreme caramel dreamcake donuts and… Me!! Eating it all.

I have never dreamt of food before, well certainly not in such a memorable way. But I guess this is because I’ve never restricted my food intake quite so significantly. Yes, i've done a couple of failed fruit and water only detoxes, and there have been failed attempts at eating 5-a-day, but never for any meaningful length of time. It has been a full week, which is 7 whole days, 168 hours and minutes I don't even want to think about since I started my 'no dessert or confectionary type foods challenge' and I am dreaming, in a full pantone spectrum of colours, about what I am missing. Regular dieters must literally wake up drooling and chewing their pillows on a regular basis.



I do find it quite poignant that chocolate did not feature at all in my dream, not even in a supporting role. Which leads me to believe that all these years of chocolate 'loving' have been sheer peer pressure and media hype. Maybe when I go back to being the almost normal version of me, who eats sweet things on a semi-regular basis, rather then as the main food group I can eliminate the 'I must have chocolate' phase altogether. Hmmmm.... Could I really do without those Lindt Lindor balls that melt so tantalisingly on the tongue?? Or that M&S Organic Rose flavoured chocolate that is the most amazing thing... Not so sure. Maybe the chocolate dream is saving itself for another night :-)