Confessions of a shopaholic...

I'm writing this while sitting on the floor in my very cluttered bedroom, while bidding frantically on a Topshop jacket on eBay... I have come to the realisation that I have issues... Or even ‘ish-shoes’... In regard to shopping... They have come to a head this week, well right now to be honest... As I sit looking at the laundry that is waiting to be put away, the shoes wondering why they have been discarded, millimetres away from their boxes - but not quite inside, emails that are waiting to be opened, toiletries looking for lids and projects waiting for completion... I realise that something must be done... By me... The past few evenings have been a whirlwind of neglected duties... Other then putting mini-me to sleep and eating (which has been done in front of the computer) I have done nothing but sit on my beautiful MacBook and trawl through website, after website of clothes shoes and bags.... HELP!!

Twitter has been unable to distract me, phone calls have gone unanswered, TV programmes unwatched, Haagen Dazs uneaten (this is what worries me the most), fingernails unpainted and hair un-brushed, as I sit in front of my laptop in a clothing, bag and shoe induced coma. I fall into bed weary and blurry eyed in the early hours of the morning. With the satisfying glow of accomplishment… A job well done. This is not normal... It can't be normal; do I have no self-control? Errrr...

Asos, Topshop, Warehouse, Office, Mango, Irregular Choice, All Saints, Zara and others that were found along the way, but none so addictive or all consuming as eBay... None so treacherous, perilous or hazardous as eBay... The high I get from bidding and winning on eBay must come a close second to gambling. I'm sure the ridiculously, excessive excitement I endure is similar to that of a hyperactive child. I am currently bidding on a jacket and I am tense, anxious, and slightly panicky as if performing naked on stage in front of thousands, with full knowledge that I can't sing or dance or even speak for that matter... HELP! This week I promised myself I would have early nights Mon-Weds as i'm out the rest of the week. To the best of my knowledge shopping online from the comfort of your bed (or in my case floor in corner beside bed) does not constitute an early night. Nor is it a normal way to spend 3 evenings. So I am making a call of action. An intervention if you like. For myself... They say admitting you have a problem is the first step right? Well i'm admitting it. To you. Hi. Yes, you. "I am PurpleRamblings and I have a problem". There I did it. I'll be back in a sec, just have to check the progress of my jacket... So, back to the intervention. If you've read my blog before you'll be aware of my challenges, if not check them out. I failed the 5 fruit a day one miserably by the way. But I digress. I challenge myself starting the 1st of May 2013 to no shopping… (Until the end of each month and then a budget will be set) Except food and toiletries.

No buying of shoes, bags, clothes, hairbands, earrings, cd's, iphone or blackberry cases, make-up, socks, dvd’s, anything... Nothing. Nada. Naught. Zilch. It shall be hard. I shall be tempted. I shall have withdrawal. I shall cry for ASOS and eBay. I shall talk myself into buying that thing that I must have and for some reason or other doesn't count and then I shall talk myself out of it. I shall give my debit/credit cards to a trusted third party. I shall avoid window-shopping. I shall be depressed. I shall once again find time to eat Haagen Dazs. I shall mourn the weekly parcels I will no longer receive. And I shall wait excitedly for the postman to deliver all the delicious parcels I have ordered the past three days and will be ordering until 30th April ☺

Looking at dresses...

"Mummy, can I look at dresses on your computer?"
*Cue: Heart stopping, light headedness, sweats and shivers*

Oh. My. Actual. Gosh!! I have contaminated the baby... I've broken her... Stolen her innocence and forced her into early consumerism!! I've prematurely aged the baby. Is there some kind of rehab style place that I could take her to? With wooden toys and metal bikes and torn books. The childhood playgrounds of yore, before the age of the Internet. Although, to be fair she'd probably spend the whole time asking if they had an iPhone she could play with. I need to release her from the shackles I have forced upon her (overkill? maybe too much, huh?). To reacquaint her with 3 year old past-times like reading and skipping and running. Maybe I should stop ignoring her in favour of sitting at my computer "looking at dresses" (I don't really do this, I wait til she's sleeping to fully indulge with no interruptions - lol). But mainly I need to have a word with myself.

I have tried to rein it in. Keep it in check. Limit the time spent "looking at dresses on my computer". Set a budget that I must stick to. But something always comes up... A wedding. Ascot. A sale. The Polo. Sunshine. The possibility of rain. The possibility of snow. Someone's birthday. A day spent at the common. A barbecue. Work. MONDAY.

Any. Possible. Reason. And i'm online. Buying things.

My inbox is full of unopened emails stating 'Your eBay bid has been confirmed' or 'You have won this eBay item' or 'Order confirmation' or 'Receipt for your payment' or my all time favourite 'Your item has been despatched'. Which always has perfect parcels in plastic bags or brown paper or jiffy bags or envelopes or boxes following closely behind...

OMG! OMG! OMG! I promised I would stop. I promised myself I would stop. I also promised myself I would eat 5 fruit a day... Suprise, suprise I failed that too!! So far this 2nd quarter of the year i'm doing really well in not keeping promises to myself... Nice one. Go Me!! I am however, staying on top of deadlines at work. Whooptidoo!! (sense the sarcasm).

When asked about TV shows, I know nothing. When asked about films, I know nothing. Books, nothing. It was suggested to me that “online shopping” has become my hobby. My pastime. The thing I do to unwind at the end of the day when 'normal folk' are engrossed in Eastenders, Coronation Street and the like.

It was fine when it was just me. Ok, it wasn't fine, but it was just me and my issues. But my innocent soon to be 4 year old, not quite 3 ft in height, can use the computer and the iPhone, likes to read and run little girl that finally got her much coveted Lelli Kelly's, has now been dragged into the equation. Not quite kicking and screaming, but i'm sure she'd have preferred to do other things given half the chance, had her mother not been fully consumed by the consumerist monster that is the world of "ONLINE SHOPPING". I need a serious intervention... I tried. I failed. I need someone to step in and take charge. One of those reality TV show documentary type things. Where the financial/lifestyle/overhaul consultant comes and looks at your bank balance and your spending habits and then gives you £10 a week and one change of clothes to live on, so you see that you've been unnecessarily frivolous your whole life. And that having one pair of shoes and a suit is perfectly acceptable *having... trouble... breathing...* Anyone out there fancy the task?? Anyone?? Please?? Help!

Maybe I’ll just hand my bankcards in. Or disable my internet connection.

*side-note* While writing this post I received an email from Irregular Choice informing me that a shoe I wanted was back in stock

Sugar Free...

So I come to you 6 days into my 21 day 'no sweet things' and 'no shopping' challenge. I decided to do it as I approach a milestone birthday as a bit of a lifestyle overhaul and to remember to keep myself in check and as an attempt to reign in the constant splurging. The first few days I suffered a terrible constant headache as I am used to eating sweet things constantly. I'll just point out that amazingly I am a size 8 and have no weight, skin or any other health concerns...

However, I will usually wake up to a muffin, donut, pancakes with syrup, pastry or similar food that falls into the breakfast food category by the skin of it's teeth. I'll follow that with a caramel cappuccino from Starbucks (with 2 sugars) and will continue throughout the day happily eating whole packets of biscuits, 3-4 cakes, donuts, unlimited chocolate bars and cans of pepsi max (it says sugar free, but tastes the sweetest). I will then when home have dessert pretty much every night after dinner. Gu puds and Haagen Dazs being my favourite, but I don't discriminate and as long as there is no custard and it falls into the dessert category, i'm good to go. I must state that I am not proud of this and only realise how extreme it is when other people point out the contents of the dustbin under my desk, or ask for a biscuit only to be told that they're finished :-(. I pay no attention to the copious amounts of sweet foods I consume and am just answering the call of my sweet teeth.

I have made it through my first 6 days, which have included the weekend, which has been the hardest obstacle so far. I'm actually quite pleased with myself, as many people have actually bet money against me :-( but i'm determined to do it for myself more than anything else as I have been a slave to my sweet teeth for too long. I also reckon i'm saving loads by not stopping in M&S for their plum and cherry crumble (which has become my newbest friend since christmas). I'm gonna put the money I save in a jar and have a dessert binge when I get to that landmark birthday :-)

Will let you know how the 'no shopping' has been going another time.