"Mummy, can I look at dresses on your computer?"
*Cue: Heart stopping, light headedness, sweats and shivers*
Oh. My. Actual. Gosh!! I have contaminated the baby... I've broken her... Stolen her innocence and forced her into early consumerism!! I've prematurely aged the baby. Is there some kind of rehab style place that I could take her to? With wooden toys and metal bikes and torn books. The childhood playgrounds of yore, before the age of the Internet. Although, to be fair she'd probably spend the whole time asking if they had an iPhone she could play with. I need to release her from the shackles I have forced upon her (overkill? maybe too much, huh?). To reacquaint her with 3 year old past-times like reading and skipping and running. Maybe I should stop ignoring her in favour of sitting at my computer "looking at dresses" (I don't really do this, I wait til she's sleeping to fully indulge with no interruptions - lol). But mainly I need to have a word with myself.
I have tried to rein it in. Keep it in check. Limit the time spent "looking at dresses on my computer". Set a budget that I must stick to. But something always comes up... A wedding. Ascot. A sale. The Polo. Sunshine. The possibility of rain. The possibility of snow. Someone's birthday. A day spent at the common. A barbecue. Work. MONDAY.
Any. Possible. Reason. And i'm online. Buying things.
My inbox is full of unopened emails stating 'Your eBay bid has been confirmed' or 'You have won this eBay item' or 'Order confirmation' or 'Receipt for your payment' or my all time favourite 'Your item has been despatched'. Which always has perfect parcels in plastic bags or brown paper or jiffy bags or envelopes or boxes following closely behind...
OMG! OMG! OMG! I promised I would stop. I promised myself I would stop. I also promised myself I would eat 5 fruit a day... Suprise, suprise I failed that too!! So far this 2nd quarter of the year i'm doing really well in not keeping promises to myself... Nice one. Go Me!! I am however, staying on top of deadlines at work. Whooptidoo!! (sense the sarcasm).
When asked about TV shows, I know nothing. When asked about films, I know nothing. Books, nothing. It was suggested to me that “online shopping” has become my hobby. My pastime. The thing I do to unwind at the end of the day when 'normal folk' are engrossed in Eastenders, Coronation Street and the like.
It was fine when it was just me. Ok, it wasn't fine, but it was just me and my issues. But my innocent soon to be 4 year old, not quite 3 ft in height, can use the computer and the iPhone, likes to read and run little girl that finally got her much coveted Lelli Kelly's, has now been dragged into the equation. Not quite kicking and screaming, but i'm sure she'd have preferred to do other things given half the chance, had her mother not been fully consumed by the consumerist monster that is the world of "ONLINE SHOPPING". I need a serious intervention... I tried. I failed. I need someone to step in and take charge. One of those reality TV show documentary type things. Where the financial/lifestyle/overhaul consultant comes and looks at your bank balance and your spending habits and then gives you £10 a week and one change of clothes to live on, so you see that you've been unnecessarily frivolous your whole life. And that having one pair of shoes and a suit is perfectly acceptable *having... trouble... breathing...* Anyone out there fancy the task?? Anyone?? Please?? Help!
Maybe I’ll just hand my bankcards in. Or disable my internet connection.
*side-note* While writing this post I received an email from Irregular Choice informing me that a shoe I wanted was back in stock