So... The challenge continues... The past few days of the 'No Dessert' challenge have been EXCRUTIATING!!!
Let me break it down for you. I do believe I have a somewhat addictive personality and am glad that the lure of drink & drugs never really appealed to me on any great level, as I have the capacity to embrace it whole hog and be that crack head on the corner, scratching, drinking strongbow, begging for pennies at 4am on a December morning wearing nowt but shorts and a vest. Luckily or not so luckily for me my addiction manifests itself in the form of the sweet deliciousness that is dessert.
In order to demonstrate just how ludicrous it can get I will take you back to the summer of 2009 where I tirelessly searched for and failed to find a limited edition Haagen Dazs flavour, before finally posting the search to Facebook where I was told it was stocked in Blockbuster video and Sainsburys local. So that's where I went, initially with no joy but eventually finding it on a day where I visited almost every Blockbuster and Sainsburys local in South London. Determination, I hear you say, until I tell you that at every shop that didn't have the flavour I wanted I bought another flavour instead... I ended up with a freezer full of Haagen Dazs, was about £35 lighter in pocket, had to take actual food out of the freezer to make space and the flavour I had searched so tirelessly for was not all I had hoped it would be... The next few days of Haagen Dazs combination sundae's and eating it for lunch, snacks and for dessert after the Haagen Dazs based dinner will always be one of my best memories though... Point made?? I think so. 
The past few days have been strange I am definitely craving a dessert fix and am not sure if I can actually hold out, it's getting harder rather then easier as the days go by... In Asda while buying "Cheerios" I somehow found myself in the bread and cake aisle. A place I don't usually venture as Mr Kipling cakes in packets don't do it for me. The Battenburg's were whispering sweet nothings, the French fancies were being amorous and the Apple Pies and Bakewell slices were positively lecherous... I think I may have been sweating, but I was definitely feeling light headed and left Asda with nothing...
While searching for a coat of arms in a photo library I find myself trawling through hundreds of dessert images. I am sidetracked for 40 minutes looking at slick, professionally taken photo's that included 'Delicious chocolate pie filled with warm fluid chocolate mouse and decorated with mint and chocolate sprinkles' it looks like something out of Master Chef but is nowhere near as delicious looking or sounding as 'A mouth watering parfait of strawberries, blueberries and raspberries all nestled in a decadently sweet cloud of chilled whipped cream and dressed with a fresh mint leaf garnish' or 'A decadent dessert of sliced banana, caramel, and cinnamon. Vanilla ice cream is sandwiched in the middle, with a crispy banana slice on top', sounds pretty pornographic I am literally salivating and have wasted 40 minutes of my day daydreaming... Pfffff....
At 10.30 on Saturday morning, while my child is running around naked, I decide I must research cupcakes for my Mum as she is thinking of selling the cakes that she makes, which she should have done years ago... So, I ignore the naked child and spend the next hour drooling over cupcake makers and suppliers dreaming about the flavours and icing combinations that I would have... More time wasted...
At my cousins house for dinner I find myself neglecting conversation in favour of cookbooks, flicking straight to the desserts and sweets section. I choose the desserts i'll make when I complete my challenge (I never cook). I think about sourcing ingredients and who i'll invite to dinner parties (once again, I never cook). I think about new desserts i'll try in order to tantalise and stimulate my tastebuds... Creme brulee begins to sound delicious, as does bread and butter pudding, things I have never previously been a fan of. I am looking at restaurant menu's and deciding which dessert(s) i'll have when i go there. I currently have a list of about 50 places to visit.
I have lost my focus. Not eating dessert has got me thinking about dessert at every possible moment. Every task somehow leads me to a place of looking at, thinking about or dreaming about it. I am permanently sidetracked in a desert of hazy sugarlessness in search of my best friend, my companion, my partner. I feel like i'm having a long distance relationship and my other half is soon to return... 8 days, 192 hours, 11520 minutes and counting...
So... I'm driving down a one-way road, when another driver approaches (obviously driving the wrong way) and we come to a stand still cos the road is narrow (hence it being a one-way) and neither of us can pass. Now don't get me wrong, i'm all for a shady little right turn at the left turn only junction, or slyly slipping through that red light and I have even been known on occasion to tiptoe (in my car) down a one-way road, in the deepest depths of night, when no-one else is around. The problem I have with this 'wrong way down the one-way' driver is that he wanted me to back up so he could pass!! The sheer cheek of him waving me back and gesturing had me dumbfounded, but I didn't give in. No way was I reversing so 'wrong way down the one-way' man could pass. Was I wrong?? Dude is doing illegal manoeuvres and expects me 'the law abiding citizen' (best film i've watched in ages, btw) to concede. Well I didn't. There's nothing worse then somebody who is wrong and strong. So we come to a stand off 'Wrong way down the one-way' man is getting agitated, possibly due to the fact that the longer he spent facing the wrong way on the one-way road, was the more likely he was to get accosted by the police, or worse still by some neighbourhood watch busy body who had nothing better to do. So I looked behind me and did the 'there's nothing I can do' shrug, after checking all my doors were locked off course, pulled out my blackberry and started to check my twitter updates, to the sound of frantic beeping. By the time the page had refreshed 'wrong way down the one-way' man had finally realised that he was fighting a losing battle, waved a white flag (he actually stuck 2 fingers up at me) and reversed into a space 4 cars back. I was triumphant and he was infuriated, even more so as I drove by at 5mph waving and smiling.
Actually I didn't dream of San Pedro (unlike Madonna). I dreamt of Dessert... Delectable, Delightful, Desirable Dessert in all it's Damned Deliciousness... Cupcakes, gu puddings, banoffee pie, tiramisu, apple crumble, pecan tart thingy’s from the dessert deli down the road, eton mess, haagen dazs ice cream, fresh cream & strawberry victoria sponge, syrup sponge pudding, apricot swiss roll, caramel waffles, hot fudge sundae, krispy kreme caramel dreamcake donuts and… Me!! Eating it all.I have never dreamt of food before, well certainly not in such a memorable way. But I guess this is because I’ve never restricted my food intake quite so significantly. Yes, i've done a couple of failed fruit and water only detoxes, and there have been failed attempts at eating 5-a-day, but never for any meaningful length of time. It has been a full week, which is 7 whole days, 168 hours and minutes I don't even want to think about since I started my 'no dessert or confectionary type foods challenge' and I am dreaming, in a full pantone spectrum of colours, about what I am missing. Regular dieters must literally wake up drooling and chewing their pillows on a regular basis.
I do find it quite poignant that chocolate did not feature at all in my dream, not even in a supporting role. Which leads me to believe that all these years of chocolate 'loving' have been sheer peer pressure and media hype. Maybe when I go back to being the almost normal version of me, who eats sweet things on a semi-regular basis, rather then as the main food group I can eliminate the 'I must have chocolate' phase altogether. Hmmmm.... Could I really do without those Lindt Lindor balls that melt so tantalisingly on the tongue?? Or that M&S Organic Rose flavoured chocolate that is the most amazing thing... Not so sure. Maybe the chocolate dream is saving itself for another night :-)
So I come to you 6 days into my 21 day 'no sweet things' and 'no shopping' challenge. I decided to do it as I approach a milestone birthday as a bit of a lifestyle overhaul and to remember to keep myself in check and as an attempt to reign in the constant splurging. The first few days I suffered a terrible constant headache as I am used to eating sweet things constantly. I'll just point out that amazingly I am a size 8 and have no weight, skin or any other health concerns...
However, I will usually wake up to a muffin, donut, pancakes with syrup, pastry or similar food that falls into the breakfast food category by the skin of it's teeth. I'll follow that with a caramel cappuccino from Starbucks (with 2 sugars) and will continue throughout the day happily eating whole packets of biscuits, 3-4 cakes, donuts, unlimited chocolate bars and cans of pepsi max (it says sugar free, but tastes the sweetest). I will then when home have dessert pretty much every night after dinner. Gu puds and Haagen Dazs being my favourite, but I don't discriminate and as long as there is no custard and it falls into the dessert category, i'm good to go. I must state that I am not proud of this and only realise how extreme it is when other people point out the contents of the dustbin under my desk, or ask for a biscuit only to be told that they're finished :-(. I pay no attention to the copious amounts of sweet foods I consume and am just answering the call of my sweet teeth.
I have made it through my first 6 days, which have included the weekend, which has been the hardest obstacle so far. I'm actually quite pleased with myself, as many people have actually bet money against me :-( but i'm determined to do it for myself more than anything else as I have been a slave to my sweet teeth for too long. I also reckon i'm saving loads by not stopping in M&S for their plum and cherry crumble (which has become my newbest friend since christmas). I'm gonna put the money I save in a jar and have a dessert binge when I get to that landmark birthday :-)Will let you know how the 'no shopping' has been going another time.
At 10.30 on Saturday morning, while my child is running around naked, I decide I must research cupcakes for my Mum as she is thinking of selling the cakes that she makes, which she should have done years ago... So, I ignore the naked child and spend the next hour drooling over cupcake makers and suppliers dreaming about the flavours and icing combinations that I would have... More time wasted... 
